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Traumas da infรขncia – a dor dos desafios emocionais
“Atรฉ vocรช se tornar consciente, o inconsciente irรก dirigir sua vida e vocรช vai chamรก-lo de destino.” Atribuรญdo a Carl Jung
O que acreditamos quem somos, como vemos as outras pessoas, como vemos o mundo e nosso lugar no mundo sรฃo padrรตes que comeรงam a se formar, com as primeiras experiรชncias no รบtero.
Quando falamos de traumas, geralmente, consideramos que algo terrรญvel tenha ocorrido com uma pessoa. Mas existe outro tipo de trauma nรฃo relacionado a algo terrรญvel ocorrido com a pessoa.
Crianรงas sรฃo traumatizadas porque sรฃo magoadas e ficam sozinhas com a dor. O trauma geracional รฉ passado de pais para filhos, em um cรญrculo vicioso.
Quando a crianรงa se sente mal, com quem ela fala a respeito? A crianรงa tem recursos limitados para lidar com suas emoรงรตes, com as experiรชncias negativas; e nรฃo hรก ninguรฉm para compartilhar sua dor. Ela desconecta-se de si mesma. Quando a desconexรฃo ocorre, ela perde-se a si prรณpria, nรฃo possui a si mesma.
Para que haja trauma, basta pais traumatizados que nรฃo se curaram de suas dores, que estรฃo tรฃo alienados dos seus sentimentos instintivos, que nรฃo tรชm a percepรงรฃo das necessidades emocionais da crianรงa. Sรฃo pais que simplesmente nรฃo conseguem se conectar com a crianรงa, nรฃo conseguem suportar as emoรงรตes da crianรงa, sentem-se ameaรงados por isso, ou estรฃo tรฃo estressados para perceber, sintonizar e validar as emoรงรตes da crianรงa.
“Se aqueles que cuidam de nรณs, nos machucarem ou nรฃo puderem nos proteger, isso cria problemas no cรฉrebro e รฉ uma configuraรงรฃo para condiรงรตes de saรบde mental ou fรญsica, e nos dรก a visรฃo do mundo onde vivemos, um mundo inseguro, รฉ aรญ que entra o trauma”. Dr. Gabor Matรฉ
As experiรชncias causam trauma, mas o trauma รฉ a ferida que a pessoa mantรฉm internamente. Nรฃo รฉ o que acontece com vocรช. ร o que acontece dentro de vocรช, como resultado do que acontece com vocรช.
Estar em contato com nossos corpos e nossas emoรงรตes, รฉ essencial. Temos medo de ser nรณs mesmos, porque associamos ser nรณs mesmos como uma ameaรงa de sermos rejeitados.
Sintomas do trauma: pesadelos e terror noturno, incapacidade de amar, comportamento viciante, insรดnia, depressรฃo, vergonha, ansiedade….
Impactos do trauma:
desconexรฃo de si mesmo.
Desconexรฃo de outras pessoas. Vocรช nรฃo confia nos outros e se sente muito isolado e sozinho.
Visรฃo do mundo distorcida, de forma negativa.
Uma ferida que causa dor e se impรตe por toda a sua vida, atรฉ vocรช lidar com isso.
Afeta o desenvolvimento do cรฉrebro, o desenvolvimento cognitivo.
Visรฃo de si mesmo baseada na vergonha. Vocรช fica realmente envergonhado de quem vocรช รฉ.
Dificuldade para estar no momento presente. O trauma o mantรฉm no passado. Vocรช pensa que estรก reagindo ao presente, mas na verdade vocรช estรก reagindo ao passado. Isso รฉ importante porque afeta a todos.
Vocรช nรฃo รฉ os seus sintomas. Vocรช nรฃo รฉ suas emoรงรตes. Vocรช estรก traumatizado. Vocรช deve curar suas feridas emocionais, que trouxeram esses sintomas, e fazer surgir novamente o humano saudรกvel. Comece a se ver pelo que aconteceu e nรฃo mais a considerar que hรก algo errado consigo.
A pessoa responde a uma percepรงรฃo do que acontece e nรฃo ao que realmente acontece. Com o trauma, respondemos ao passado e nรฃo ao momento presente.
Quando vocรช reorganiza as coisas, comeรงa a perceber que a causa estรก dentro de si mesmo, e isso รฉ libertador. Libertador porque vocรช sai do papel da vรญtima e passa a ter poder, para modificar aquilo que o incomoda, que lhe traz dor.
Por que se prender a um trauma da infรขncia, se vocรช era uma crianรงa, nรฃo teve ajuda, nรฃo recebeu amor?
Nรฃo รฉ uma questรฃo de curar o trauma, de se ver livre da memรณria do que aconteceu, mas se ajudar, se expandir, para que haja espaรงo para todas as emoรงรตes envolvidas. Por trรกs de uma pessoa traumatizada, que nunca encontrou expressรฃo nesta vida, hรก o ser saudรกvel. A prioridade รฉ ver o ser ร nossa frente e nรฃo o problema apresentado.
Pergunte-se, “o que preciso curar em mim mesmo”?
– Rejeiรงรฃo? Abandono? Traiรงรฃo? Injustiรงa? Humilhaรงรฃo?
Essas sรฃo as cinco principais feridas emocionais que desenvolvemos no convรญvio, com uma sociedade e cultura tรณxicos.
O trauma causa uma enorme perda de energia, quando nรฃo queremos sentir a dor e nรฃo queremos trazรช-la para o consciente. Os traumas da infรขncia podem afetar a fรฉ, a conexรฃo com a fรฉ. O que fica dentro de vocรช, a sua dor, o resultado do que aconteceu com vocรช รฉ que constitui o trauma, e vocรช decidiu que nรฃo era digno e assume uma visรฃo negativa de si mesmo. Pessoas traumatizadas pensam que precisam provar seu valor, porque nรฃo sรฃo dignas.
“Trauma nรฃo รฉ o que acontece com vocรช. Trauma รฉ o que acontece dentro de vocรช, como resultado do que aconteceu com vocรช.” Dr. Gabor Matรฉ
Todo ser humano tem um “eu” verdadeiro, genuรญno e autรชntico. E esse “eu” verdadeiro, genuรญno e autรชntico nunca poderรก ser destruรญdo. Portanto, seja autรชntico, seja vocรช mesmo. Nรฃo ignore suas prรณprias necessidades. Sinta autocompaixรฃo e cure suas feridas.
Anete L. Blefari
ENGLISH
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA – THE PAIN OF EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES
«“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
— Attributed to Carl Jung»
What we believe about who we are, how we see other people, how we see the world, and how we perceive our place in the world are patterns that begin to form with our earliest experiences, even in the womb.
When we talk about trauma, we generally assume that something terrible must have happened to a person. But there is another type of trauma that is not necessarily related to something terrible happening to someone.
Children become traumatized because they are hurt and left alone with their pain. Generational trauma is passed from parents to children, creating a vicious cycle.
When a child feels bad, who can they talk to about it? Children have limited resources for dealing with their emotions and negative experiences, and there is often no one with whom they can share their pain. They disconnect from themselves. When disconnection occurs, they lose touch with who they truly are; they no longer feel fully connected to themselves.
For trauma to develop, it can be enough to have traumatized parents who have not healed their own pain, who have become so disconnected from their instinctive feelings that they cannot perceive the emotional needs of the child. These are parents who simply cannot connect with the child, cannot tolerate the child's emotions, feel threatened by them, or are so stressed that they are unable to perceive, attune to, and validate the child's emotions.
«“If those who care for us hurt us or cannot protect us, this creates problems in the brain and sets the stage for mental or physical health conditions. It gives us a view of the world in which we live as an unsafe world. That is where trauma comes in.”
— Dr. Gabor Matรฉ»
Experiences can cause trauma, but trauma is the wound that a person carries within. It is not what happens to you. It is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.
Being in contact with our bodies and our emotions is essential. We are afraid to be ourselves because we associate being ourselves with the threat of being rejected.
Symptoms of trauma: nightmares and night terrors, inability to love, addictive behaviour, insomnia, depression, shame, anxiety…
Impacts of trauma:
- Disconnection from yourself.
- Disconnection from other people. You do not trust others and feel deeply isolated and alone.
- A distorted and predominantly negative view of the world.
- A wound that causes pain and imposes itself throughout your life until you begin to deal with it.
- It affects brain development and cognitive development.
- A self-image based on shame. You become deeply ashamed of who you are.
- Difficulty being present in the present moment. Trauma keeps you in the past. You think you are reacting to the present, but in reality, you are reacting to the past. This is important because it affects everyone.
You are not your symptoms. You are not your emotions. You are traumatized. You need to heal the emotional wounds that gave rise to these symptoms and allow the healthy human being within you to emerge again.
Begin to see yourself through the lens of what happened to you, rather than believing that there is something wrong with you.
A person responds to their perception of what is happening, rather than to what is actually happening. With trauma, we respond to the past rather than to the present moment.
When you reorganize these experiences within yourself, you begin to realize that the cause lies within you, and this can be liberating. Liberating because you step out of the role of the victim and regain the power to change what troubles you and what causes you pain.
Why remain attached to childhood trauma when you were a child who had no help and did not receive the love you needed?
It is not about “curing” trauma or freeing yourself from the memory of what happened. It is about helping yourself and expanding within, creating space for all the emotions involved.
Behind a traumatized person, whose true expression has never found a way to emerge in this life, there is a healthy human being.
The priority is to see the being standing before us, rather than the problem they are presenting.
Ask yourself:
“What do I need to heal within myself?”
— Rejection?
— Abandonment?
— Betrayal?
— Injustice?
— Humiliation?
These are the five main emotional wounds that can develop through our interactions with a toxic society and culture.
Trauma causes an enormous loss of energy when we do not want to feel the pain and do not want to bring it into conscious awareness.
Childhood trauma can affect our faith and our connection to faith.
What remains inside you — your pain, the result of what happened to you — is what constitutes the trauma. And you may have decided that you were not worthy, taking on a negative view of yourself.
Traumatized people often feel that they need to prove their worth because they believe they are not worthy.
«“Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.”
— Dr. Gabor Matรฉ»
Every human being has a true, genuine, and authentic Self. And this true, genuine, authentic Self can never be destroyed.
Therefore, be authentic. Be yourself.
Do not ignore your own needs.
Feel self-compassion.
And heal your wounds.
Anete L. Blefari
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